Dreams
I’ve had a homework assignment from a Dream sermon in late October. The assignment was to dream again and to write them down. Of course, Crazy Faith brought it up a second time. “I needed permission to dream!” I immediately started crying. Our Jesus is Life Bible reading plan hit it again, “What do you want? And are you ready for it?” Each time dreaming comes up I have a heart level reaction.
But for whatever reason I found myself stalling. I’m nervous to write my dreams down. There is a block somewhere – fear of disappointment maybe. I don’t know. But today is the day. I’m making myself write them down – no more excuses. Moving from fear starts now…
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Dreams are now on paper.
A few days later while sharing them with Mom, I realized I hadn’t shared them with the Lord. Even writing them out, I almost had to detach myself, as if writing someone else’s dreams down. I had talked about spending more time in prayer, but the topic of my dreams just never came up. “OK God, here I come, not sure why this is so hard…
I shut myself in my room and below is the beginning of that raw prayer.
Why am I so scared? I feel like a first date and I’m too nervous to get on the call. Nervous eating, my stomach has butterflies, my heart is beating faster. I’m scared to verbalize my heart’s desires to You which makes no sense because you put those desires there. They are not new to You. But for some reason, telling them to Mom is just kind of sharing but telling them to You, I don’t know. Am I scared of them actually happening? Is the thought of a gift that good overwhelming? I don’t know. If I truly believe that You want to give good gifts to Your children ….. Help me to be ready for what You are going to do. Help me to wait in anticipation, expectant that You will blow me away.
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Is there something you are hesitant to bring to the Lord? Do you know what is holding you back? God intricately made you. He knows how many hairs are on your head, and He loves you dearly. In the loving arms of your Father is the safest place to share your heart.
- They aren’t my dreams but His dreams for me. 🎵Let me dream for you🎶 (Casting Crowns)