Dreams

I’ve had a homework assignment from a Dream sermon in late October. The assignment was to dream again and to write them down. Of course, Crazy Faith brought it up a second time. “I needed permission to dream!” I immediately started crying. Our Jesus is Life Bible reading plan hit it again, “What do you want? And are you ready for it?” Each time dreaming comes up I have a heart level reaction. 

But for whatever reason I found myself stalling. I’m nervous to write my dreams down. There is a block somewhere – fear of disappointment maybe. I don’t know. But today is the day. I’m making myself write them down – no more excuses. Moving from fear starts now…

 - - - - 

Dreams are now on paper. 

A few days later while sharing them with Mom, I realized I hadn’t shared them with the Lord. Even writing them out, I almost had to detach myself, as if writing someone else’s dreams down. I had talked about spending more time in prayer, but the topic of my dreams just never came up. “OK God, here I come, not sure why this is so hard…

I shut myself in my room and below is the beginning of that raw prayer.

Why am I so scared? I feel like a first date and I’m too nervous to get on the call. Nervous eating, my stomach has butterflies, my heart is beating faster. I’m scared to verbalize my heart’s desires to You which makes no sense because you put those desires there. They are not new to You. But for some reason, telling them to Mom is just kind of sharing but telling them to You, I don’t know. Am I scared of them actually happening? Is the thought of a gift that good overwhelming? I don’t know. If I truly believe that You want to give good gifts to Your children ….. Help me to be ready for what You are going to do. Help me to wait in anticipation, expectant that You will blow me away. 

- - - - 

Is there something you are hesitant to bring to the Lord? Do you know what is holding you back? God intricately made you. He knows how many hairs are on your head, and He loves you dearly. In the loving arms of your Father is the safest place to share your heart.

-       They aren’t my dreams but His dreams for me. 🎵Let me dream for you🎶 (Casting Crowns) 

Trust Me. Chapter 28

Somedays, for some crazy reason, I choose stress. Or rather, I don’t choose to let things roll off…however that works. Yesterday, was one of those days. 

Sitting in a coffee shop, I found myself giving into stress, again. A situation needed my attention and I had no idea what to do. I am a rule follower – this had rules, but they were unclear. This also had a deadline – which was quickly approaching. I could hardly think straight. The pro–con list rapidly forming in my brain was turning into a con-con list. I was about to settle on my best BAD idea when I decided to use a lifeline. I needed help and a new perspective. After two reassuring phone calls, I was able to come back to reality – the world was not falling apart. (At least not over this issue.)

So I took a deep breath and started working on the next right thing -something I knew needed to be done where I knew the rules. Feeling better but still uncertain, I spent some time praying, typing up scriptures and hymn lyrics, whatever came to mind. It was in those few moments that God graciously said, “I’ve got this, just trust Me.” He calmed my heart as I fixed my eyes on Him. My phone began to ring again. Over the next five minutes God used a sweet friend to tangibly pour out His love and faithfulness all over me. He took my seemly unmet expectations and surpassed them. He took my insecurity and wiped it away.

So with a fresh perspective, I’m trying to do today differently. Praying and doing the next right thing, - waiting with open eyes and expectant heart to see what He has in store. “Wait on Me – I’ve already got something in the works, and it will blow your mind.” 

Thank You

🎵 For all that You've done, I will thank You
For all the You're going to do
For all that You've promised
And all that You are
Is all that has carried me through
Jesus, I thank You 🎶

Oh, may that be true of me!! I was convicted recently when my cousin returned home from a mission trip. We had gathered to pray over her trip before she left. When she came home, it was so sweet to see pictures and hear the stories of all that God had done. We ended the evening laughing, hanging out, and playing games as a family. Later that evening/next day I realized, while we had ooh-ed and aah-ed at all the Lord did - we didn’t thank Him.  

Only days before, I had received an answer to prayer over a topic that had been weighing on me for a long time. I was thrilled! I wanted to tell everyone and proclaim His goodness to friends, family, and anyone who would listen. God was faithful. He showed up. He blessed me and answered my prayer way beyond what I had ever expected. 

But did I go back and say, “Thank you??”

I want to be like the guy who was healed and came back to say thank you. (Luke 17.11-19) I want to be thankful for what God is GOING to do, but hasn’t yet. I want a heart bent towards thankfulness, not one just focused on things that need fixing. 

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and consistent involvement in my life – Jesus, I thank You.