Say Yes

Some people are prone to act first and think later. I, on the other hand, tend to think, think, ponder, think and act...hmm, maybe later. I had a list of questions I would walk thru before possibly taking a step. "Why do I feel compelled to do this? Is this a God prompting? Or is this just a hair-brained idea of mine? What is the other person going to think? How might they respond? What do I say?" .... and the list goes on.  

Of course there are certainly times when asking more questions or waiting is wise.  But recently, I was challenged to just say yes. Ask one question: Is there any reason God would say no to this? IF the answer is no - jump in before the window closes. 

How that plays out...

I was stopped at a light on my way home from work. There was an empty lawn bag on the ground next to me which I had swerved to avoid. So begins the internal dialogue. "I should pick that up." "Why? It's not mine." "I wonder how many people will pass that." "It's not like the owner is coming back for it." "Who picks up the trash off the streets?" "I wonder how contaminated that thing is?" "It's just a bag! Pick it up!" I opened the car door, leaned out, and grabbed it. (Thanks to Young Life, I feel the need to trash-walk the world.)

I was going through the Arby's drive-thru for a late lunch. (Still trying to convince my co-workers 2.30pm is a perfectly normal lunch time.) "I should pay for the guy behind me." "What if he thinks I'm hitting on him? No." "What if he is taking food back for people and his order is really expensive?" "What if he thinks I'm weird?" "What if he follows me?" (Did I mention, I'm an over thinker?) "Just pay for it!" Turns out it was only $8 or $9, and nothing weird happened. (One time the cashier didn't let me pay for someone else...that was a weird interaction...but that's a different story.)

I was waiting in line on an exit ramp, not going to make the next light. I could see the lady holding her sign on the corner. "I should give her a $10" "But I owe somebody that $10." "I have a $20 too." "Deal! and I have a church invite." Interesting how often God asks me to spend money. But I'm told if you look at your bank account it shows where your heart is. 

I know these are simple examples, but I think even those to death. With the Holy Spirit's help, I'm striving to be a girl of action - to say "Yes" to that little voice. Oh to be faithful in the little things Luke 16.10, Luke 19:17 so that I am attuned to and practiced up for when He asks the big things. 

PMS

Interesting how experience can rock your perspective. I learned something new today.  Apparently your body changes every seven years or so (or so they tell me--the science jury is still out on that.)

I used to be a relatively even, emotionally stable girl. (I can picture a smirk on my brother's face as I write.) OK maybe I was fooling myself, but I thought my schedule was a secret. Not that I was trying to hide it, but it just wasn't noticeable. 

But good gravy!!!! PMS is a real thing and I don't just mean the Hollywood version. Last go-round I felt overwhelmed by the littlest things and was on the verge of tears all day. I had no idea what was happening or what was wrong with me! Today I was frustrated and just plain grouchy...ALL day! Sure I have off moments, but ALL day? I was even grouchy when my sweet sister made me breakfast. What is this emotional/hormonal rollercoaster?!? And of course, being the logical person that I am, I only become more frustrated because the cause of my frustration is piddly. 

But the weird part is God created me, us, this way. I'm not making excuses by any means (other than maybe to eat a bowl of ice cream). And yes this may be an opportunity for your man to respond more tenderly toward you. But I am not off the hook. The extra self-control, character, and prayer it takes to get through a hormonally charged day - is REAL. Ladies, I'm sorry for judging you.  And guys...I'm just sorry. 

I wonder if this will become my monthly reminder to lean into Him? Lord give me the self-control and grace needed for today. Help me to trust You fully, knowing I can't trust myself.

The Line

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I wore a shirt the other day that was on the bubble. The things we do to compensate for this Oklahoma heat. I did my hair just right and thought I had layered successfully to pull it off. While I was conscious of my outfit throughout the day, the punch didn't come until I picked my sister up from work. Moments after getting in the car I hear, "What does God think about your shirt?"  

- Pause -"What?" I asked.

"What does Dad think about your shirt?" 

"That is not what I heard the first time!" 

Conviction straight to the heart. Called out by my little sister and Holy-Spirit-translated for full effect. 

The next day my uncle stopped by my office. His normally cheerful countenance was replaced with loving concern. He hesitantly mentioned yesterday's shirt. Explaining how it was communicating something I probably didn't want to be communicating. I can't remember the last time he commented on my wardrobe choices. 

Grateful for those who love me enough to care what I wear and call me out. Every outfit makes a statement. What is yours saying?

PS That shirt is now a present for the trash can.